I managed to procure this book from a friend (apparently, they're sold out everywhere) this week after I had an alarming amount of people ask me if I'd read it and my thoughts.
I know the hype around this book, as I'm sure everyone else does; a-once-Twilight-fan-fiction-re-worked-into-original-prose; fantastic sex. Most people/reviewers seem to be split right down the middle either passionately loving or hating it in equal measure. There was only one way to settle it in my mind. I had to read it.
Bella Swan Anastasia Steele is a 21-year-old university student on the brink of graduation, she's plain, clumsy, innocent, naive and completely unsure of herself. She has to interview the elusive Edward Cullen Christian Grey, the CEO of a multi-million dollar company on behalf of her sick friend, he instantly takes a shining to her and we get ourselves into the beginnings of a D/s (BDSM) relationship.
I know the hype around this book, as I'm sure everyone else does; a-once-Twilight-fan-fiction-re-worked-into-original-prose; fantastic sex. Most people/reviewers seem to be split right down the middle either passionately loving or hating it in equal measure. There was only one way to settle it in my mind. I had to read it.
The biggest issue I seem to have with this book is the negative portrayal of D/s relationships in general. Christian is portrayed as a monster, to be a Big D (Dominant not Dudley Dursely) doesn't necessarily mean you were a victim of trauma. (In the book he does have baggage naturally. I'm guessing the fanfic would have pointed towards Edward not having a soul.) Ana is perfectly 'normal' so enjoying her role as a submissive must mean she has issues of her own surely? Trying to change Grey's natural choices to a more acceptable (vanilla) one seems wrong to me. It's not a subculture for no reason, it's not for everyone.
D/s relationships are based on a mutual absolute trust and absolute choice. When done right I can't imagine there being wrongful abuse; Ana knew what she was getting into, though perhaps may not have fully understood her own choice and reactions. Similarly, Christian seems to impose his lifestyle on her without her express consent- it's an absurdity considering how well versed he seems to be in it. It's so obviously abuse at some points, it was uncomfortable to read and not at all erotic.
Then there's how closely it resembles Twilight. Anyone who tells you otherwise is blind, or lying to themselves. We have Ana, the clumsy object of every male's desire but-she-doesn't-know-it; Christian, who is obsessed with keeping her safe, has a problem with what she drives and is fiercely overprotective and jealous; Jose the dark skinned, black haired friend who she has no interest in no matter what his feelings are.
Let's not forget how simply inconceivable it is. Ana, a near graduate student at college; doesn't own a laptop and doesn't have an email address. In fact, she uses her journalist friend's laptop when she requires it. What? Anyone who has been through higher education knows how far in life you get without a laptop. Walking on water is easier to achieve than a undergraduate degree without Microsoft Word.
Her character generally is a grating one, especially when it comes to voicing her limited opinions about sex. James has her nicknaming condoms 'foil packets' and gave her the insufferable habit of calling her vagina 'down there'. As a rule of thumb, if you're mature enough to do it, you're mature enough to say it.
D/s relationships are based on a mutual absolute trust and absolute choice. When done right I can't imagine there being wrongful abuse; Ana knew what she was getting into, though perhaps may not have fully understood her own choice and reactions. Similarly, Christian seems to impose his lifestyle on her without her express consent- it's an absurdity considering how well versed he seems to be in it. It's so obviously abuse at some points, it was uncomfortable to read and not at all erotic.
Then there's how closely it resembles Twilight. Anyone who tells you otherwise is blind, or lying to themselves. We have Ana, the clumsy object of every male's desire but-she-doesn't-know-it; Christian, who is obsessed with keeping her safe, has a problem with what she drives and is fiercely overprotective and jealous; Jose the dark skinned, black haired friend who she has no interest in no matter what his feelings are.
Let's not forget how simply inconceivable it is. Ana, a near graduate student at college; doesn't own a laptop and doesn't have an email address. In fact, she uses her journalist friend's laptop when she requires it. What? Anyone who has been through higher education knows how far in life you get without a laptop. Walking on water is easier to achieve than a undergraduate degree without Microsoft Word.
Her character generally is a grating one, especially when it comes to voicing her limited opinions about sex. James has her nicknaming condoms 'foil packets' and gave her the insufferable habit of calling her vagina 'down there'. As a rule of thumb, if you're mature enough to do it, you're mature enough to say it.
I have to hand it to the author though, she has certainly mastered the fine art of Meyer's repetition in her prose. I have all the 'murmurings', 'mutterings' and 'lips pursed into straight lines' I could ever hope for and some new ones to boot.
My two absolute favourites, Ana's own and frequently mentioned inner goddess who has an insatiable libido- incidentally one that ends up in one of her many shattering orgasms. Ana shatters so much I could only see it in the manner of Humpty Dumpty, although unlike him I don't think all the King's horses and all the King's men will be able to put this poor girl back together again.
As for the sex? Well, I've had better. As far as smut goes I've read fantastic sex scenes in stories with infinitely better plot lines. Where the sex is indeed secondary to the story and not the only thing worth reading. I would love to see some of these authors with original works in bookstores everywhere
My two absolute favourites, Ana's own and frequently mentioned inner goddess who has an insatiable libido- incidentally one that ends up in one of her many shattering orgasms. Ana shatters so much I could only see it in the manner of Humpty Dumpty, although unlike him I don't think all the King's horses and all the King's men will be able to put this poor girl back together again.
As for the sex? Well, I've had better. As far as smut goes I've read fantastic sex scenes in stories with infinitely better plot lines. Where the sex is indeed secondary to the story and not the only thing worth reading. I would love to see some of these authors with original works in bookstores everywhere
I gave the book a one star review, it's not overly generous but it is- in my humble opinion; perfectly justified. This truthfully, was a bit of a car crash read; it was poorly edited, littered with grammatical and even spelling mistakes and it's written terribly but still I found myself powering through it in a single afternoon. I put its single star down to some of the unintentionally hilarious scenarios. "Oh shit. It's my mother."
I do however, implore the author to change the name to Fifty Ways To Sate Your Inner Goddess. It would make me so happy and definitely soften the blow of this book overthrowing the Potter series as the fastest selling paperback, ever.
I do however, implore the author to change the name to Fifty Ways To Sate Your Inner Goddess. It would make me so happy and definitely soften the blow of this book overthrowing the Potter series as the fastest selling paperback, ever.
RATING: ★☆☆☆☆
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